Talking oneself

Its frustrating .. Really frustrating whom i love is just going opposite to me. what did i do wrong.
Everytime i want to be near am just being blamed for all the problems..
"oh really? so send me some fruitcakes"
"You .. I am just suffering here and you say you want fuitcakes..."
"Yes i am hungry.."
"then move off"
"hmm do u want some???"
"no .. can't u see i am tensed.."
"oh so sorry about it.. but i cant see you future tenses"
"huh!!! will u quit making me mad???"
"meeeeeeee? nah.. i will go away wid your death..... hmmm fruitcakes or chocochips????"
"You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hmm but yeah its gud if you don't see future... hopefuly u can't see past also.. ?ITs gud re not to think too much"
"hmm you are right i better  don't think too much i better go wid choco chips"
" thinking too much gives you multiple choices... and which makes you  complicated..."
"hmm chocochips are gud.."
"yaar. its so frustrating the person whom i love is slipping away then and there.. ab how will i help em out??"
"hmm chips are right on top of the cookie its good u get attracted to it... eventhough taste is not good we buy them"
"hmm yes good charecter is always shown out .. we get attracted to it.. even though the content is not bearable inside it  we accept it coz we love them.."
"but....."
"but the chips becomes even tastier when its mixed wid cookies.. same way no person in world can be good only or bad only. humans are prone to have mix charectars .. its situation that changes people. hmm feeling relaxed .. can i have some chocochips.. Thanks Jinny"
"oh my pleassure.. or better say Welcome Jinny."

this is what they call it as life

Life is strange..
when you want something you dont have it.. when you dont want it.. you have it...
i am a freelancer.. no i am not.. but my thoughts are....
i have decided to follow a path....
but the path leads me where i dont know..
many says it is boring path.....
one day i was moving through train in general compartmen.. one of my charectar is to note people sourrounding me..
i was in general compartment on the way from coimbatore to thrissur...
too rush as usual..
rite opposite to me many people where sitting. but my eyes caught a couple who were sitting in lagguage seat.
looks like they were newly weded...
both were sitting facing each other....
i was watching them carefully.. girl was wearing too much of gold... strange even in this rush train....
they two were indulged in themself that they didnt have time for other people... newly wed.. it happens...
each were feeding other the food they bought..bought from shop...
thank God they didnt show any obscenity...
everything was going fine.
i step down in my station...
few months after i saw the very same couple....
this time...jewels were very less... both were sitting in oppsite seats.. not looking each other...
their look meant" (i have seen this man too much.. getting bored ,,,,)
few months and everthing changed... ok i understood love was less.. but were were jwells?
someone said dat was relative of couple...." love made them spend money.. money made them bankrupt..."
ha ha i couldnt stop laughing..
its rite...
once its said... somewhere....
"newly weded persons love to be in closed room many of times..... . . . bcoz of love it says.... and when they feel suffocated to be in closed room they open the windows..... The first thing to go out of window is love....."
Strange ......

A thought to survive

A beautiful day...

thoughts remaining astray i was wandering of no job wen someone took my hand and called my name will u do a job? i said yes i will.. it was a bronze shop . i had to gloze the pots and soak it in sun.. i waited for the day to get over and then set my pots on tray..

next day i met a girl.... she called me mommy.. i said i am not your mom.. she said i know it.. but i feel to call it . but i am not your mom....

can u be my mom?

how can i make u my child wen i dont have a survival...?

just make me walk with u mom

dont call me mom and i left the child.....

she was calling me" please dont leave me please am all alone"

i left the road and was walking thru the meadow.. sound was still approachable

i turned back but there was no one but sound came up to me.. louder much louder...

tired i sat under a tree i sleapt there i had a dream

a man holding me thru the dust.it was the owner.. his eyes were wet... i said "wat happened sire"

he said i though u will be like me but were not...

wat i did sire?

i have given life to you y cant u ?

i woke up from the dream ran back to lane and find her lying in dust

she was having a loaf of bread from the dustbin...

i thought if was her mother in reality will i let her be like this? no

i picked her up and said you are my daughter...

i named her Tammanna--- the hope (for her and for me too).

WE MEET DIFFERENT PEOPLE IN DIFFERENT STAGES OF OUR LIFE.. IF WE HAVE 5 MINUTES TO SPARE THINK OF THE PEOPLE YOU MEET DAILY...

IT WILL GIVE U HAPPINESS. .

LIFE IS SHORT ENJOY IT FULL.

Confession???

When I sit beside you to  think of the ways I have traveled through you my dear computer .. I sometimes feel you were responsible for all my tears .. or else why should I blame you??

When I told my shadow that I got to tell u something it said “no I were with u all times”

I replied “I didn’t feel so”

I ought to tell you the world  I traveled. . My shadow always claims “I were with you”

“uh its hurting ….. because I have not seen even my shadow throughout the journey”

A long road.. with many people to accompany by. Many stop in midst, many fade away , of many  turned away cursing loud..

People come and go, many faces, different situations, baggage’s “Uh I had to drag them”

Baggage’s of words and alphabets..

I was carrying alphabets with me.. how could dat be? A teenage carrying alphabets??

Am i teenage?? Huh who cares…

All my life I was trying to write but of many I have not scribbled.. Why???

One of my dream was to paint my mind.. whops.. that also I didn’t doo.

Whats the use of me being walking??

I feel tired “ugh can’t I stop ? I need some rest”

“Nah bang you can’t you have to walk..”

“Who are you to tell me”

Shadow..

“But you don’t know anything about me”

“ I know you that’s y I am listening to u. Everytime you heard a voice from behind… “

“but no it can’t be you … I never saw the person behind…”

“am shadow I can’t be seen, of the beauty God has given you  I am one among them. Am your shadow… Am you and you are me”

“no u are wrong I am my words and words they won’t ever betray me”

“words are no longer with you you have left alphabets…. You have left  your soul behind…”

“ no… but…… yes I did….”